Collateral Beauty: Shadow Work with an Overlooked Gem

Virtual Discussion Date: Wednesday, March 17th, 2021 at 12 p.m. PT 

Using media to work with psychological wounds and the Shadow -- to examine all that we have repressed or denied that still lives in the dark parts of our deep unconscious -- can be a powerful transformative experience for all involved.

This month we will be exploring the integrally-informed hidden gem film Collateral Beauty (2016). In the film an advertising executive (Will Smith) crippled by the death of his young daughter pens letters to Love, Death and Time. His loss propels him on a journey of deep shadow work and ultimately not just healing, but profound evolutionary growth and development.

Though not without flaws, Collateral Beauty is a wondrous (and occasionally very funny) work that can touch the hearts and souls of anyone scarred by deep grief. It does something I have never seen a film do: it captures that moment in the midst of a great loss where one can awaken to the beauty of all existence, almost as though that walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death lets us experience the essence of what it means to be alive.

The film imparts an important lesson in working with Shadow material. The key to Shadow work, with or without the use of media as a vehicle of expression, is to find the lesson, the gift that each of our wounds and shadows have to offer us. Through this process our shadows become our teachers and allies as we learn the lessons we need to learn.

Be sure to JOIN US for our live discussion on Wednesday March 17th at 12pm PT.

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Media Shaman Studio is a monthly in-depth public lecture and discussion series on the relationship between consciousness and media with host and facilitator, Mark Allan Kaplan, Ph.D and Jonathan Steigman. This series is offered for FREE and is open to all members of the Conscious Good Creators Network, the general public, and participants in our Media Shaman courses.

 

The Valley of the Shadow of Grief and Loss

In the wake of my father’s recent passing from this world of form, I have been reminded once again of the potential gifts of grief and loss, if one wholly surrenders into it. I first learned of these gifts several years ago with my mother’s passing. At that time I chose to honor her by following the Judaic rituals of loss which include a year-long process of prayers, rituals, and observances. I combined these with rituals and practices I had learned from my cross-cultural studies of grief and loss, and my training as a grief counselor.

What I discovered was that the grieving process can be a beautiful time filled with what Shakespeare called “sweet sorrow.” Yes, this time is often a time of tears and sadness, with moments of feeling a deep sense of loss and regret. Yes, surrendering into grief can often mean having to let go of a lot of the busyness of life and allowing oneself to be “out-of-control” in many ways. But I have also found the gifts of reflecting on the past through the lens of love and seeing blessings that I had not seen before. There is also the gift of experiencing times of deep present-moment awareness as I come to recognize the impermanence of my physical beingness and the world around me; The way the light sparkles through the trees, the feel of the morning breeze on my face, the smile of a friend, the song of a bird, all suddenly become powerful moments that fill my mind and heart with an in-the-moment overwhelming sense of grace and awe. In the specific circumstances of the loss of first my mother and now my father, my conscious honoring of their passing has also led to profound personal growth as my being entered the transformative well of the deep parental archetypes inside me. I feel truly blessed by all these gifts for in their light I can feel the love and lives of my loved ones living on within me.

Through these experiences of loss and grace I have come to embrace the spirit of Psalm 23, which is always read at Judaic funerals, by calling this time my walk through the valley of the shadow of the passing of my loved one…for though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, loss and grief, my way is lighted by the love and grace of that Force that radiates out from beyond the thin veil of the world of form.

*Image: "Yea Though I Walk Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death I Will Fear No Evil" by Frank C. Pape

In Loving Memory of My Father - Harold Kaplan (1919-2010)

Today my father passed from this world of form. I have entered that thin-place between the worlds that is the altered state of loss and grief. The father that gave his seed for my birth into this world is gone. The image of my father within me is in flux, as projection, reality, and archetypal forces swirl loose from their intra-psychic moorings. Memories of all the moments of love, challenge, bonding, and all the perfectly imperfect father-son experiences dance in the silence between the world of doing and the world of being. My father always believed in my gifts and talents. His eyes lit up with joy and pride at the sight of all my endeavors. Though we were different in so many ways, I always felt his quiet acceptance. Every time I draw a line on a blank piece of paper I will remember sitting at his architectural drafting table. Every time I face a challenge I will remember how he never retreated or surrendered. I will always remember his charm and his love for life. And though he was a greatly imperfect being, as am I, there is nothing I now hold against him or against myself. All that was love shines bright; and all the illusions of fear and doubt within and between us have melted away. He danced this life the best he could, I danced with him the best I could, and his light and love shines through and into my mind and heart and spirit. I feel grateful that his suffering has ended; and blessed for having him as my father. Goodbye my father. Thank you for loving me so unconditionally and so beautifully imperfectly.