In Loving Memory of My Father - Harold Kaplan (1919-2010)


Today my father passed from this world of form. I have entered that thin-place between the worlds that is the altered state of loss and grief. The father that gave his seed for my birth into this world is gone. The image of my father within me is in flux, as projection, reality, and archetypal forces swirl loose from their intra-psychic moorings. Memories of all the moments of love, challenge, bonding, and all the perfectly imperfect father-son experiences dance in the silence between the world of doing and the world of being. My father always believed in my gifts and talents. His eyes lit up with joy and pride at the sight of all my endeavors. Though we were different in so many ways, I always felt his quiet acceptance. Every time I draw a line on a blank piece of paper I will remember sitting at his architectural drafting table. Every time I face a challenge I will remember how he never retreated or surrendered. I will always remember his charm and his love for life. And though he was a greatly imperfect being, as am I, there is nothing I now hold against him or against myself. All that was love shines bright; and all the illusions of fear and doubt within and between us have melted away. He danced this life the best he could, I danced with him the best I could, and his light and love shines through and into my mind and heart and spirit. I feel grateful that his suffering has ended; and blessed for having him as my father. Goodbye my father. Thank you for loving me so unconditionally and so beautifully imperfectly.

2 comments:

michael ornst said...

So sorry to hear about your father Mark. Your post was lovely and a fine testament to him. I am sure he was proud of your efforts to push film and media into the integral age.

MAK said...

Thank you, Michael. It has struck me deeply that his passing coincided with my integral cinema presentation at the Integral Theory Conference. Part of me feels as though he was with me in spirit and feeling, in that moment, that it was okay for him to go now...that I would be okay, that I had found my path...